Amsterdam

Whoa! Free and easy, we've just arrived. Where are we? Oh, yeah, uh…Amsterdam? Are we there yet? Yessiree. Is it Holland or the Netherlands? Both. Now come on.



Waag	Koninklijk	Turret Detail	Sun & Moon	The Weight of the World	Brick & Tile

"Who's tired on this plane? This guy!"

"How do we take the train from the airport into town?" "Dunno." "Do you have all the luggage?" "Luggage. We don't need no stinking luggage. But we've got some. OK, let's figure out where we're going."

"Hey there's the train. There's the ticket counter. Do you have money?" "Not yet. There's the ATM." "OK, looks like the train leaves every 15 minutes."

"Great."

Traveling is Hard


Cool Corner	Rijksmuseum	Spire	Hi!	Canal Bridge	Canal View

Jeezus, there are a lot of smelly, dirty people here. Keep walking, don't look insolent, don't look lost…sense of purpose, sense of purpose…who cares, you look like the luggage-toting dumb ass anyway. Where is the damn hotel? I need a nap. I'm hot. He's pulling out the map! We're doomed.

"OK, I think we can turn right here and hook up with this street, which should intersect with the one our hotel is on." "I think that's wonderful."


Red Bull on the Water	Blues Brothers	Twilight Cafe

"I think our hotel is near the Anne Frank house. Wanna see that?" "Nope! Hahaha." "Really?! Wow, I guess you have a well-formulated opinion about that one." "Whatever. If you really want to go, then I'll go." "Holy crap. Look at the line for Anne's house." "Still don't wanna go?" "Nah."


Not Exactly Red Light	Whoa!!	Running in Vondel Park	Urban Living

Zzzz's, glorious zzz's. Don't care if the bed is the size of a Wheat Thin and feels like sleeping on an SOS pad. What's that annoying noise that sounds like a mosquito? It IS a mosquito! Gross! I don't want get bitten and contract some awful disease! Sure I won't get bitten with a sheet over my head and the window closed, but it's hard to breathe and I'm hot.

"Where do you want to eat?" "Let's walk around and look for something good." "OK."


Canal & Boat & Jake	Munttoren	Idyllic	I Need Sleep	Bloemenmarkt...

I'm walking and I'm walking and I'm walking and my legs are going to fall off and I'm tired and I already ran this morning in the watchamacallit, Vondelpark, and I'm tired…hey, that's a cool building…look at that doodad on the side…that's nice.

And I'm walking and I'm tired. Rijksmuseum. Van Gogh Museum. Great, I love it. Flowers at the Bloemenmarkt. Canals. Holding down the fort at the Waag…well now they're just eating there. Magere Brug. That's a big bridge to you, buster. I sure could use a beer. Historisch Museum. Wow, pink pumps and riding a bike. There's a fashion chance if I've ever seen one.

"Wanna stop for a beer?" "Sure. Where?" "I dunno. How about here?" "Yeah, fine."


That's Flower Mart to Me	Margaritas	Sunset	Westerkerk	Post Run

Jeez, these people really love their bikes. Their bikes are like a house of cards - everything teetering in the balance. Grocery basket, child's seat, dog basket, saddlebags, shopping bags in hand, friend catching a ride on the rear or another child on the handlebars.

It's 9:30 P.M. and finally getting dark. I need food. I can't have another beer on an empty stomach.

"Let's get food." "Sure. What sounds good?"

Anything as long as I can have it NOW. Patience, patience.

"Anything but Mexican." "Let's walk around and look for something in that area we saw last night that looked cool." "Is it far away?" "I don't think so." "OK."


Park Path	Running in Vondel Park	Ersatz 3D	Phallic Quilt	Cool Hair

I'm walking and I'm walking and I'm walking and my legs are going to fall off and I'm tired and I already ran this morning. I'm exhausted. I need to sit down. I sure could use a beer, I mean food.

"How about this place?" "Not enough people. And I thought we saw a better looking place last night. Maybe it's down where those lights are across the way. See those lights?" "Kinda." "Let's check it out." "OK."

I thought we were going to eat a half an hour ago. And we're a 20 minute walk from the hotel. I'm going to cry. Well, I'm not really going to cry but I wish I could.

"How about this place?" "Hard to say." "I'm starving." "OK, we'll eat here."

This food is crummy. How come I couldn't hold out for the better spot? Patience next time.


Pop Art	Concertgebouw	Hey, A Painting	Hey, Another Painting

"Wanna check out the Red Light District?" "Sure." "I think it's down this street." "Oh yeah, here we go." "Holy Moly." "Some of them don't look so good." "That's for sure." "She looks really rough." "It might be a guy." "True."


And Another	And Another	Canal Clog	On the Street

After a couple of days we're finally gaining our sea legs. Uh, whatever.

"You look a little space-y." "Yeah, I know." "Do I?" "You look Chinese." "Whatever. Let's go back to the hotel and crash."

It's our last day in this fine city. I wonder what's left to see.

"Let's go see the Heineken Brewery." "OK."

Why the hell did I agree to this? It's way out in BFE and here I am walking a gazillion miles again. I might need a beer before we even get there. Well now that we've taken the edge off, I don't care how many miles we walk. Hell, I'd walk to Norway right about now.

Whoa! Look at that line!

Well it went faster than I thought and now it's sorta like Disney inside. That's OK, I guess. Especially since we just sent my brother a video email that showcased the top of our heads. And they give you four, count 'em four, free beers throughout the course of the tour. And the beer tastes dreamy…it's MUCH creamier and tastier than the skunky, sharp Heineken you get in the states.

What a wonderful place - Holland, Netherlands, land of the Dutch.