Bruges.  A medieval Disneyland.  An adult's playground.  It's almost too good to be true.  Lots of history, architecture and culture in a well-preserved and compact environment.  And boy does the town exploit it.

Everyone parks outside the city (thankfully) and hauls their bones and bags into the historic center.  Luggage with wheels is key, because, like us, you may walk the entire city looking for a hotel room.  And the uneven cobblestones are not forgiving on your luggage or your feet.

Book in advance, especially in the summertime!  We couldn't even find a room in a flea-hole hostel by the windmills on the outskirts of town.  So we ended up in the only room left in the city - the most expensive suite at the Marriott - for $350 per night.  In retrospect we can't complain because the room was pretty cool, but it definitely ruined our nightly average expenditure for hotel rooms.

Bruges is overrun by Brits and Americans, especially in August and the local wait staff is worn thin by the tourist crap. We jammed into a dirty table in the main square at high noon for a much-deserved beer.  Apparently, everyone else thought that was a bright idea too.

There were three older British couples next to us and they were already toasted by midday.  One woman was shakily trying to pour wine into her glass and then lift the glass to her wobbly lips.  Well, let's say she was having quite a bit of trouble with both and most of the wine was on the table or dribbling down the side of her mouth.

She started to get surly and her cohorts became uncomfortable with the developing scene. So the four slightly-less smashed Brits excused themselves from the table under the guise of wanting to see more sites, which really meant they were going to try to walk off their massive buzz.

The woman insisted on joining them and when she tried to stand she promptly slid right under the table, much to the chagrin of her husband.  So the other four cautiously ditched them in an awkward verbal exchange and her husband was embarrassed as he repeatedly chastised her and force fed her water while they waited out her public drunken spell.

And when we got our bill for two large beers, we just about slid under the table too.  It was a devastating $30 without tip.

Bruges is expensive as hell…everything is overpriced and the service is usually haphazard, lackadaisical and confusing. We started to eat meals early or late to avoid the frenzied rush and happily ate wherever there was an empty table regardless of what was on the menu. And we started carrying plenty of cash and small bills in order to handle transactions on the spot. Waiting for a server to run a credit card or bring change for a large bill meant another 30 minutes at the table.

One evening we ordered dinner at an outdoor café and spent the next hour watching an overweight lesbian couple argue with the staff about their mixed-up meals.  Only after some grousing of our own were we served our long-awaited drinks.

Apparently our waitress completed her shift, but forgot to give her tables to a new server and now the kitchen was closed.  My hunger was replaced by a gnawing irritation, or shall I say, blind anger.  I was so disgusted, tired and hungry that I was tempted to walk away from the table without paying the bill. After I regained my wits, we paid for our libations and I left in a controlled huff.  Weak and shaky, we elbowed our way into another café for the second course of our liquid dinner.

So despite the downsides, we had a wonderful time in Bruges exploring its obvious landmarks, and when we got tired of the crowds, we sought out its nooks and crannies filled with medieval gems amid quaint surroundings.  It's a very romantic place in an historical kind of way.  And we got lost in its charm.

One of the highlights of our stay was the disturbing painting, "The Judgment of Cambyses," which portrays a poor fellow being flayed at the hands of some angry officials.  It was part of a very small exhibit in a very small museum that was filled with shuffling, glassy-eyed tourists.

We jogged in the park areas outside the historic center and enjoyed the lush landscape.  On our return, I couldn't believe the youth sleeping on park benches outside the train station.  Well, I guess I wouldn't do it, but I could see how they would end up there since rooms were at a premium.

On our last morning in Bruges we sat in the main square and enjoyed the facades before they were blurred by the bobbing heads of the next wave of tourists.  And as a last outrage, we ordered two extra large Coca-Colas (finding a grocery store with Gatorade was impossible) and spent $28 - not including tip.