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Ok, here’s the deal on Penang (or Pinang). It took us awhile to get there (17 hr flight to Hong Kong, a 5 hr flight to Singapore, and an hour-plus puddle-jump to the island) but when we finally did arrive, we knew that the adventure would be worth the effort. My brother Jake and I made the decision to go to Penang over a beer in the Singapore airport, really. We had a couple of days to kill – so why not go to Penang? |
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As soon as the airplane door opened in Penang, we were overwhelmed by a wave of heat and humidity. It’s the first thing you notice about this smallish island off the coast of mainland Malaysia. Moving a bit slower now that the bulk of the traveling had concluded, we gathered our luggage and headed to the information booth to thumb through a well-worn photo book of local hotels. We decided on the Shangri-La Hotel in George Town, the main city of Penang, which turned out to be a pretty good deal. I think the room cost us about $60 USD. It was about two thirty or three in the afternoon when we finally popped out of the cab in front of hotel – and after quick showers all around to wash off 24 hours of travel residue, Jake and I hit the streets for our first taste of Malaysia (and, needless to say, Malaysian beer). |
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Penang is Here |
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We didn’t really have any idea what to expect from Penang. The only preconceived notions that I had came from Hollywood’s version of the city in the 1998 remake of "Return to Paradise," starring Vince Vaughn. So on the plane ride in from Singapore, all that I could picture was a sea of people pushing and pulling tattered mules overburdened with bizarre and exotic fruits and vegetables through muddy streets as chickens screeched from under rickety wooden wheels. I expected the sound of distant music rising with the steam above the bustling din of the market. I imagined a few moist, paunchy European men dressed in white three-piece suits and matching fedoras conducting their sordid afternoon affairs over small glasses of clear liquor in the street-side cafes – and a handful of dirty, charming and colorfully savvy children hawking their goods at our feet using well-worn snippets of near-perfect English. That’s what I expected, not what I got. |
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As you can see, Penang looks like a modest Asian city – it’s got mopeds, shops, hotels and KFCs. Nothing too remarkable at first glance. But we were eager to see what this funny-sounding distant little island had to offer – so we set out in the afternoon heat. As we planned only a brief (1D1N) stay in Penang, we knew our self guided tour would have to be expeditious. We straggled by the old cannons of Fort Cornwallis, a meandering seaside park, the government building district, and the touristed shopping area. After moving through the city at a pretty good clip, the heat dictated a rest. So we settled into a nearly empty street-side café. |
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| Typical Street | ||
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Just as we collapsed into the pink and green plastic lawn chairs, a rather dodgy looking barkeep extended his hand and introduced himself as Danny. Danny was a little low on teeth – to the tune of, say, 25. Sizing us up as thirsty (I wonder if my now see-through sweat-soaked shirt was a giveaway?), Danny offered the daily special: six locally brewed Carlsberg-Malaysia beers in a slushy bucket of ice - all for the very reasonable price of about 15 Malaysian Ringgits (approx. $4 at the time). What a bargain. In this heat, it’s a deal at 150 Ringgits, so we gladly accepted and set to work. As we were finding our centers in the Carlsberg, Danny sidled up to our table and entertained us with rather incredible banter. |
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Evidently, he spent time as an international spy and headed one of the largest crime families in Penang. His son was a fighter pilot in the Malaysian Air Force (does Malaysia even have an air force?). He might also have been a doctor, a dope farmer, a ball player, a snake charmer, and God knows what else. I‘m not sure whether Danny was really anything other than an unkempt barkeep, wanting in the hygiene department; in any event, he was engaging. But with virtually no sleep and having endured a 15-hour time change, the quick dousing of three beers each began to take its toll on our weary bodies. So we shook hands, wished Danny well and headed on our way. |
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| And Another | |
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As we prepared (rather last minute – 2 weeks planning time) for Asian Adventure ‘99, we pondered the unspeakable gastrointestinal maladies that the average hypochondriac American might contract during his travels. Believe me, there was no shortage of conjecture on this topic. Instead of spending two weeks freaking out about the weird cuisine though, we opted to allay all such fears from the beginning. And what better way to do it than to grab a quick snack off the fly-speckled push cart of some toothless, shirtless, old, Malaysian local at the water’s edge? Great idea. We made our way to the shore and wandered through a maze of "hawker stalls" as we eyeballed the legendary vittles. Jumping in head first, we each purchased a large, previously (way previously) deep-fried, mushy prawn that had spent a leisurely afternoon or two amusing flies in the sweltering Penang heat. With one giant bite, Jake popped the whole damn thing in. I could see by his face that this wasn’t just another day in the food court. "How is it?" I asked. "Pretty weak," he said with his mouth still full. My turn. mmmMMM! That was . . . repulsive. It tasted like it was dredged from the gunnels of a plumbing barge after blow-cleaning shrimp boat lavatories. But, what can you do? Have another beer. |
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| Hotel View | ||
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| Hawker Stalls | ||
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After that other beer and more meandering, we watched the sun cast a shadow of Penang Hill along the North Channel that separates Penang from the Mainland. We were pretty wiped out, but decided to troggle on to a real dinner. It was getting dark as we followed the edge of the bay around the town – only to be surprised and delighted by a shimmering restaurant built over the water on an old oyster bed. Very quaint. As we crossed the wooden bridge into the foyer, Jake pondered his menu from the array of live tanks lining the walls. There were eels and crabs and fish and pokey-dokes and flingers and all manners of strange critters slithering, scuttling, crawling and swimming through the tanks awaiting their fate. We took our seats on the patio and relaxed (to the point of coma) as the warm humid wind rattled the bamboo chimes hanging from the leafy tropical trees. We ordered some relatively tame Asian noodle dishes and a bottle of wine. The food was fantastic – but we were so spent that we ate and drank in bleary near silence. As the plates were cleared, I felt the stir of a second wind. I turned to Jake looking for suggestions on the next stop and he was dead-ass asleep in his chair. That was all for the best; we decided to head back and turn in for some much-needed sleep. |
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| A Cool Restaurant | ||
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| Tanks A Lot | ||
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The next day. No need for an alarm clock - we were wide awake by 7:00 am (thank you jet lag), and out the door by 8:00. A quick scan of the trusty guide book (editor’s note: don’t ever travel without a good guide book, ever) pointed us in the direction of Penang Hill. Rising 831 meters (whatever the hell that means, could be 35 feet, could be 16 miles) above sea level, Penang Hill is only accessible by a very, very, very steep, rather slow moving funicular railway. We survived the aging, but nevertheless thrilling, ride to the top and were rewarded with incredibly rich panoramic views of the eastern coast of Penang. On top of the hill, we checked out vibrant gardens, a small cafe shop, a rather rustic, but well situated hotel (housing a tribute to Buckminster Fuller?!), a smallish Hindu temple and a crackly Muslim mosque. As an aside - I had the good fortune of requiring the use of the privy while visiting Penang Hill, and (as you can see) I was treated to a wonderful experience replete with the fresh daisyesque scents and let-your-baby-crawl-on-the-floor sanitation. Penang Hill was very pleasant, in part because we arrived as soon as the railway opened, which didn’t give the sun a chance to turn the whole affair into a sauna until we were well on our way down the hill. Well worth a visit. On the way down the hill, the railcars were primarily empty, save for one Asian gentleman who followed us into our seating compartment. After a moment of silence, he looked up and gently asked a question in the most unintelligible gibberish you ever heard. After several ineffective attempts to communicate, he finally stumbled upon a few words of recognizable English: "I China." Great, our turn now. I tried them all in this order: I Los Angeles. Nothing. I California. Nothing. I America. Nope. Just about to give up, I threw out "I New York." With that, the gentleman’s face lit up and he laughed aloud. "OOOohhh! New York…U…S…A…!" Bingo! With that, our new friend enthusiastically grabbed our hands and shook vigorously. He then finished with the remaining English in his vocabulary: "Friends." The ride down was very lively as we traded photos, business cards, and hand gestures, pointing out interesting sites and the occasional monkey that lumbered next to the track. It was a pleasure meeting our Chinese friend – whose four English words exceeded my Mandarin vocabulary by about four.
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| Hillside Railway | ||
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| The Pit Stop Kid | ||
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Super Views of Penang |
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| Our New Friend |
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From the base of Penang Hill, we hopped into a cab and scooted off to the oldest and largest Buddhist temple in Malaysia, Kek Lok Si Temple. Billed as Penang’s premiere attraction, the Temple certainly was impressive. The temple is really more like a compound than anything else, combining all sorts of individual temples and rooms. There are ornate carvings and intricate statues everywhere. Rooms and courtyards filled with Buddhas. Stairways and corridors Even a grand Pagoda – the "Pagoda of 10,000 Buddhas." The Pagoda offers a sweeping view of George Town if you’re able to climb the seven million steps up without passing out. I think Jake appreciated the architecture, but the height of temple shortened his tenure. So we soon scurried down, passed by the well-mannered pan handlers and itchy post card vendors (see my postcard?), and found our waiting cab. Back in town, we wandered around again and found a dimly lit, air-conditioned(!) restaurant complete with indoor waterfalls and koi ponds. It was time for lunch. Seafood was the specialty, though it really wasn’t that special. All in all, pretty bland. We didn’t really blend in with the locals (for reasons aside from the obvious) because, in this heat we thought it best to wear short pants and sandals – which drew more than a few glances from |
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fellow diners (comprised primarily of high-end businessmen and local gentry). As it turns out, short pants are so foreign to these folks that it doesn’t matter if it’s a hundred kajillion degrees outside at 2:00 p.m. on August 5th; everybody still wears long polyester pants and often a polyester jacket to boot. The next thing that weirded them out: we ordered water, coke and beer to start off (quench, revitalize, relax) which sent all the help spinning off in different directions – a digression from which nobody ever really recovered. |
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Bellies full, it was back to the hotel to pack the bags. We decided that one day and night in Penang was enough (because we are American, of course, and don’t have the privilege of lollygaging about the world for nine weeks at a time like our fine German friends) - and so we were on our way to the airport to try to scruffle up a flight to Kuala Lumpur. But not without one last stop Once again thanks to the handy Lonely Planet guidebook we learned that another of Penang’s main attractions is directly on route to the airport – the famous Temple of the Azure Cloud, better know as the Snake Temple.Built in 1850, the main room of the temple is literally crawling with large green pit vipers, which *theoretically* are lulled into ambivalent ennui by countless burning sticks of pungent incense. The damn snakes are everywhere – wrapped around the altars, the poles, the bushes, the monk things, whatever. It’s a little freaky. The young vipers (viperlets?, vipsters?) spend the hours hangin’ and bangin’ in the trees of the courtyard, and these little monsters are about as cute and cuddly as you could imagine a dreaded scaly killer could be. They say that the young snakes are the most dangerous because they haven’t learned "when to say when" when they are pumping their poison into a hapless victim ... so apparently they tend to go waaayyyy overboard. Adult snakes, on the other hand, measure their venom quite carefully, taking into consideration such factors as size and weight of the victim, relative wind speed… you get the idea. Here’s the point: The snake temple is definitely a tourist trap. I’d say far worse than any other attraction in Penang. Nonetheless, it is interesting and worth the stop. One word of caution– though the snakes may not bite, the hawkers certainly do. We got the treatment. They approached with an armful of vipers and slowly begin draping them all over our shoulders (and heads / necks / faces, wherever). Suddenly I was too paralyzed with fear to move or say anything particularly pointed, so they snapped a few photos. And when they finally yanked the little green bastards off me, they claimed that I had entered into a tacit agreement to pay them approx. $10 USD apiece for the photos. Well, as you can see, we fell for it like everybody else (although we managed to talk them into ripping us off for only $5 apiece). To their credit though they delivered on their promise and sent the pictures (once developed) via international mail to our home in California; something that we never really expected because we doubted that they actually had film in the camera in the first place. Ok, so that was that. We were delighted to see that our cab and luggage had not disappeared while we tempted fate in the temple. And we're off to Kuala Lumpur. |
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Snake Temple |
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Babies |
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Snakes! |
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The Cheesy Photograph |
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Final Thought: Penang (George Town and the surrounding neighborhood) was interesting. Nice and not too touristy. Are we glad we saw it? Yes. Would we recommend it to similarly positioned American friends? Probably, depending on the traveler (case by case basis, determined after a short interview - and one cold beer). Would we return? Probably not anytime soon. Another tip: Penang positions itself as a "tropical island vacation spot." Hmmm, … we never left the east coast, so to comment on the beaches on the other side of the island would be unfair … but from what we saw, just a few miles from the beach resorts, the water is rather brown, murky and uninviting. Certainly, I would not categorize Penang as beachy place to visit, but overall – I’d give it a thumbs up as a cultural destination. |
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